Baseline Killer (2008) Movie Review, Trailer, Film Still and Poster

USA 2008
Director: Ulli Lommel
Cast: Victoria Ullmann, Jaquelyn Aurora, Pia Pownall, Caitie Uhlmann, Lauren Carter, Jana L. Laurin
Rating: R
Release Date: 7 April 2009
Running Time: 1 hour 22 minutes

The Movie Review

Upon picking up this movie, this conversation occurred between me and my friend...
Him: 'Man, why would you do that?'
Me: 'Do what?!'
Him: 'Getting your hand on that movie'
Me: 'Doh, it's my job!'
Him: 'Yeah, man but look whose film that is!'
Me: 'Bro! I defy any prejudice in watching a movie' (yeah right and acting cool)
Him: 'Alright..., just ring me then and let me know if I'm actually right this time'


BASELINE KILLER
Storyline:
Cast:
Ending:
Overall:

Well, I don't call him and I won't, but not because of I was right, but because man! I just hate it when he's right...

It doesn't take many words to review this movie. Baseline Killer is divided in 3 big parts. And all three of them are atrociously awful. The movie starts with a scene of two serial killers making fun of a young woman, this scene is presented with an extremely confusing camerawork and direction style which last only for a couple of minutes. By this time I knew that my friend was right.

The first awful part is the conversation among seven young women who are childhood friends about their success stories and current life, which lasts until...guess when? 21-minute mark! My goodness! All we hear is girlish chat that I don't know who would bother to even listen to them, and sometimes we got to see and hear the serial killer sneaking around using a sniper rifle. Sigh... why does it have to be that long? Sometimes the girls are so caught up with their story that we could not hear them anymore. Ok, the 2nd part is the 2 cats and 7 mice chasing scene where the killer is offing the girls one by one, in an off-screen mode. The girls are just shrieking and monotonously running around in a single crammed-uninteresting-confusing warehouse. The 3rd big part is when the killers are suddenly taking a break from killing those girls which give the girls time to reminisce about what they do before they got here. What is more unbelievable, is how their story is realized into respectively different scenes, one girl tells how she would make peace with her father and one girl even has enough coolness to share a story about her boyfriend. What the...?!

Aside from that awful trio, the sound effects also really don't help lifting up the quality of this horror movie. Seriously guys, it's like hearing someone hammering a nail, thump.. thump.. thump... And the set, as I have mentioned above, the warehouse is not creepy but boring. But the most illogical thing of all, is when the girls see a red light (sniper's aiming light) playing around on two of the girls' foreheads, all the other grown up women just look suspiciously and say gibberish lines and do nothing. Ok now, let's think briefly, these are 7 grown up women making an appointment in a secluded warehouse and expect no company, but when they see a mysterious light like that, their worrying is so unbelievably minimum. Afterwards the lights gone out, and when it's back on, they find one of their friends suddenly gone missing. And guess what guys, those women think that it's a prank, even after hearing a male voice shouting threat lines.

Nevertheless I have to at least give credit for the performance of the actresses that although far from being brilliant, they seem to have chemistry when chatting. But then again, why do the camerawork and directing style have to be that confusing, and extremely shaky just to be stylish... Now I know what I would give to that my 'I-told-you-so' friend of mine on the next April the 1st.