Blood Diner (1987) Movie Review, Trailer, Film Still and Poster

USA 1987
Director: Jackie Kong
Cast: Rick Burks, Carl Crew, Roger Dauer, Max Morris, LaNette La France, Lisa Elaina, Drew Godderis
Rating: Unrated
Release Date: July 1987
Running Time: 1 hour 25 minutes

The Movie Review

Blood Diner film still 1


BLOOD DINER
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I'm guessing everytime we hear about "Cannibals", all we can imagine is almost-naked savage natives in the jungle chopping off their victim's body. And this is absolutely disgusting, repulsive and disturbing. But what if some filmmakers are trying to combine that element of horror with comedy? Will it be funny, scary or simply a failure? Let's just see then, do note that the campy elements of the 80s are abound here folks, and the graphic contents are sure-fire way to make the squeamish moviegoers searching for vomit bags.

Two young men, Michael Namtut/Tutman (Rick Burks) and George Namtut/Tutman (Carl Crew) are making a living by opening a restaurant, Tutman Cafe. And they are famous for their delicious meal. But what the customers don't know that they are using human flesh as the main ingredients which they acquire by butchering random people, well not that random actually, mostly young promiscuous women. Anyhow, like that doesn't seem wicked enough, in fact they are opening Tutman Cafe with one main mission, and that is to bring back to life an ancient gruesome goddess named seethar by following the guidance of their teacher and uncle, Anwar Namtut (Drew Godderis). And they're constructing sheetar with the body of many immoral girls. Could they do as they're told? And what will happen after that?

Okay now folks, I'm seriously at a loss for words here. This horror flick here is just unbelievably campy! You haven't seen everything before you see Blood Diner, this is a movie that every pre-teen boys ever dreamed of watching it with a bunch of friends. We got almost everything wacky, I could list it one by one but that would be too long. But my favorite one is a fully naked chick beating the heck out of George Namtut, I thought that George would easily off her right away ala slasher and stuff, but nooo.... she just suddenly poses a Kung Fu stance and then does high kick on that poor George. The excitement it's not on the nudity, it's on the idea! That idea and some others including topless cheerleaders practicing their routine, vomit fiesta and a girl with huge meatball head... Whew, those would stir up some fun conversation with your friends. Ah.... the magic of the 80s...

But this Diner is not without flaws. Talking about the horror, Blood Diner is more shockingly repulsive than scary. The comedy clearly overshadows the horror, unfortunately the comedy itself is a mixed bag. Sometimes they're hilarious in a dark kinda way and sometimes they're just forced humor. I personally consider the humor to be forced most of the time, but maybe some of you have different opinions. The thing is, that either the comedy or the horror is not cleverly combined and so they are more like an unorganized mess.

Either way, choosing to combine one of the most extreme elements of horror with simple comedy is tricky. Blood Diner was initially intended to be a sequel/remake/homage to Herschell Gordon Lewis classic splatterfest, Blood Feast (1963). And I honestly don't think that Blood Diner could be enjoyed by other than seasoned horror fans as this is more to splatter film than a slasher one. And even so, it requires a certain open-mindedness and healthy mind to enjoy the movie without having to shower with warm water afterwards. Besides, just like food, it comes to taste in the end. And even you're ok with the 'ingredients' of Blood Diner, this movie couldn't entirely stand out as the best among its ilk.

> On the menu today, humans!: The Corpse Grinders (1971) and Di yu wu men aka We're Going to Eat You (1980).

> Successful combinations of horror and comedy: Street Trash (1987) and Frankenhooker (1990).